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Erkan

I wrote the following essay receiving inspiration from that picture which was taken in a
'tent-city' during Bill Clinton's visit of Turkey because of the earthquake in 1999. It was
quoted from my website about social phobia in Turkish. I would like to thank Vance,
my teacher of English at Wolverhampton College as she revised my translation.

 

Bill & Erkan - November 16, 1999 - Izmit Dogukisla Cadirkenti


You are only seven months old. There is a gleam of sincere curiosity in your eyes. You look at the world just to discover it. You don’t strive to gain people’s approval. Your inner world isn’t shaken by disapproval, rejection or being despised. How can this be? It hasn’t yet been spoilt by an 'others-centred' point of view.

They don’t put titles before or after your name. You don’t have certificates that you can show off on the walls. You haven’t got any money in your pocket or an account at the bank. And you don’t suffer from this lack. You don’t have any feeling of inferiority.

You don’t consider your physical attractiveness important. You don’t feel embarrassed if you appear in front of people wearing your same clothes. You don’t even think of looking in the mirror to judge your appearance. You never care whether you are good-looking. You are exploring life - judging is none of your business.

Whose nose you are squeezing doesn’t arouse any interest in you. You don’t think that you will either gain worth or lose esteem by sitting on the lap of either a famous leader or a poor villager. The term status signifies nothing to you. You don’t need wealth, prestige, position, reputation, fame, beauty or knowledge for self-confidence. You never worry about proving yourself to others.

You are a seed that could turn into a magnificent tree. If they let you, if they don’t prune you when you are a sapling, you could develop healthily and realize your potential. But I am afraid it won’t happen. They will sap your inner being and mould you into their narrow patterns. They will make you fit into their social norms, and you will become 'normal'. And then, like every normal person, you will try to obtain status. You will learn to regard yourself as inferior or superior to other people.

Perhaps, many years in the future, if you meet an American president again, you will act according to the role that your status requires. Probably, your heartbeat will accelerate. And you will think that being in the presence of such an important person increases your worth, and you will feel proud of it.