What a powerful statement Alan made: "Somewhere here there is a crying child. If we could let the pain out, Noah would have to build the ark again. We would cry and cry. There would be the flood." I think it wouldn't be only because of the personal history of each of us as individuals. Maybe it would also be because of the destiny of human race. I feel that people are weak, helpless and forlorn. They are condemned to death. Whatever they could do is futile. And as a member of humanity, I share the same destiny with others. It is sad. It is distressing. It is poignant.

I heard in the class that I should never give counselling to family and friends because I would show them they are responsible for their life. This is not what they want to see. And they may dislike people who make them realize it. Alan expressed that friends are supposed to say, for instance, "Throw him away. Tell him to fuck off. I wouldn't put up with that. You can stay at my house." It looks I, as a counsellor, would need to play different roles with different people. Would it be hypocrite of me? Whatever. Alan's suggestion sounds pretty sensible. Why not?

Yes, I can feel that a part of me wants to be a hero who is capable of solving people's problems for them. However, even if I were able to do that, I accept the principle that if I rescue the clients, I don't really help them. I am supposed to help the clients take care of themselves, not do the job for them. The change has to come from the clients themselves. I believe that each person is a unique individual and everyone should try to find their own way of life.

When we practiced in the class, I didn't like the way my partner listened to me. She didn't seem to take it seriously. She didn't appear to give me her full attention. She often neglected some basic listening techniques. She even looked around several times. Plus she asked me some irrelevant questions. Nevertheless, that she didn't listen to me properly didn't upset me. I didn't take offence. Nor did I get annoyed. I considered it as her problem, not mine. I am glad to experience that.

Have I changed since I started this counselling course? If yes, how have I changed? Well, I think I haven't changed much, really. I was keeping a journal before I started this course. And I still do. The ideas I have met in the course aren't completely new to me. In the name of change, maybe I have experienced some modifications. I could say that in general the ideas that I had already accepted have become a bit stronger. For example, if I had given counselling before I started the course, not giving advice, which is one of the fundamental principles of counselling, would have probably been what I would have tried to follow, with some exceptions. Now if I give counselling or at least practice the listening skills of counselling in daily life, I give extra attention to avoid giving advice. (Though I still don't quite understand why they continue to call it counselling!)