Apparently, whatever I learnt when I was a child lingers deeply and continue to affect my thoughts, believes, attitudes, behaviours and feelings. I can see that they have largely been moulded by the outside world, consciously or unconsciously. I quite agree with Don Juan Matus who said, "Human beings are perceivers, but the world that they perceive is an illusion: an illusion created by the description that was told to them from the moment they were born." (From Tales of Power by Carlos Castaneda.) And now am I really free to believe in anything I choose to believe?!
I wish to be completely free from the prejudice that I have picked up from my parents, environment, culture etc. OK, I accept that I am looking for something impossible. But at least the answers to some basic philosophical questions could have been given in a different way. Whether I did ask the questions or the answers were actually unsolicited is another story, but if a child asked me, for example, what would happen after death, I would say something like, "Some people believe that... and some others believe that..." I don't remember if I ever received such a flexible answer in my childhood. The implicit or explicit answers to some theoretical questions like the meaning of life, where we came from or why we are here as well as some practical questions like how to live, what to do or what not to do were usually single, definite and unquestionable.
What a sad picture that Alan drew: "When the children leaves, nothing left in common between some partners, though they might still have sex. The odds are they will soon split up." It seems to me that such a situation may be related to how the relationship started in the first place. They might have relied on mainly physical attractiveness, which is I think simply not enough on its own for a satisfactory, permanent, long-term relationship. I have never been married, but it isn't difficult to see that. If I am ever to marry, I should try to visualize the future of that probable relationship and put myself in the place of those kids-gone-nothing-left types of partners.
When kids gone? What do we have children anyway? Alan has asked that question several times throughout the course. What a good question indeed. Many people seem to have taken for granted that they should have children. But why? I think when you come down to it many people have children just out of conformism. I also suspect that, particularly in a western style urban life, some people choose to have children semiconsciously or subconsciously to keep themselves occupied so that they can avoid facing the meaninglessness of their life because it should be too scary.
By the way, having children appears quite unreasonable to me. Why would I have children? Someone who would love & look after me, fill my emotional incompleteness, continue my existence through my genes? No, I don't feel like that. I don't want to make sweeping generalisations, but as far as I can observe, children's attitudes towards others tend to be egocentric and self-oriented. They just want their needs to be met. They just consume (well, at least in the society in which I live). I guess if I had children, they wouldn't be very different from any other children in terms of those typical characteristics. They would take my time, energy and money. They wouldn't have many significant things to share with me. They could hardly empathise or philosophise with me. At the end of the day, what I think is that the cost of having children for me would be much more than its benefits, so I don't want to put such a burden on my back.